Showing posts from January, 2018


This is's 100th post! That means for the last 393 days, I've posted 100 times! That's an average of a post every 3-4 days. I think that's a good average. What about you?! How can I make this post special? I'm going to share a few things! So here we gooooo!

Prozac: My Mental Health Journey

I haven't blogged in a while. The reason is because I've spent the last week being someone else. I started medication for my GERD and my anxiety/panic attacks. I was prescribed dexilant and prozac. I've never taken prozac (or dexilant) before, but I was really happy to try something to relieve some of the discomfort I was in. I've been dealing with increased anxiety over the last year and GERD so bad that it was burning my throat. I started the medication last Tuesday. I felt better immediately when it came to my GERD, but of course, I didn't feel anything with my prozac except I slept through the night. Then I slowly became relaxed. I don't think I've done anything since I started it other than sit and stare. This weekend, though, I started having panic attacks that were worse than normal. Unfortunately, I started graduate school again on Monday (yesterday) and I felt like garbage and actually left class early. I was nauseated. I felt like vomiting any

Du North Designs Review

Du North Designs is a company out of Canada, but they have distributors in the US and other countries as well. I am a distributor with them, but I don't focus on it much. Just to get cheaper leggings to my family and friends. Everyone deserves to have affordable clothing. The leggings are similar to other companies. They are 92% polyester and 8% spandex. A lot of their shirts also have spandex or rayon in them to give them bounce or flow. The waistband is stretchy rather than a yoga waistband, though there are a few (less than a handful) that do have the yoga band if you're really in love with that style. I really like their items. Am I trying to sell you on them? I mean, a little, but I wouldn't sell them if I didn't love them. I wear them often. I really like wearing them under my jeans now that it is winter time. They aren't overwhelmingly thick so they don't feel uncomfortable under my jeans or overalls. Adult sizes: Classic (2-10), Curvy (8-20), Diva (1

January 2018 Book of the Month

Here's one of the new things I want to try on the blog! I want to have a book of the month. This month, I'm going to suggest a book that I really like. This month, and every month this year, I'll post here about a book and where to get it. Then you have until the end of the month to read it! On the last day of the month, I'll go live on Facebook live (is google hangout still a thing?) and we'll have a discussion about it. It'll be fun and easy! We can connect and make new friends. This month, I'm going to suggest Outlander . I chose Outlander because it's one of my obsessions right now. I love the badassery of Claire. I love the ode to history. I love Jamie Fraser. I love the action. The only thing I'm not a fan of: it's a very "wordy" book and there's long sentences with Scottish and British terminology. If you read this book though (and you love it), it's actually a series! Right now, the author is working on book number nin

Your Loss.

Loss is an inevitable part of growing up. You lose hair. You lose teeth. You lose family members. You lose friends. You lose money. You lose your favorite sock. You lose a lot. When you're born and as you grow up, no one prepares you for loss. No one tells you how to deal with such losses. They just tell you to "get over it" or "move on". “The effects of loss are acute, and unique to each individual. Not everyone mourns in the same way, but everyone mourns.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich, Making Wishes Loss can include a very emotional process. You may feel one emotion or several all at once. Some emotions you may experience include: denial, disbelief, confusion, shock, sadness, anger, humiliation, despair, and guilt. Arguably, these are all common reactions to loss (unless you feel despair over losing your favorite sock, it'll be okay, I'll buy you a new pair if it makes you feel better!). In some situations, loss can cause you to doubt your mental hea

Locked in a Room with Smoke for 13 Years

When I was 12, I went through a big trauma in my life. Going through trauma and becoming a teenager at the same time is not a good mix. The way to cope with it? Rebel. Rebel. Rebel. I started doing the stereotypical rebellious things: dressing in black, listening to rock/metal/alternative music, and using bad language. I didn't want to be cool. I wanted to be someone else. I wanted to feel better. This was long before I had a struggle with anxiety and depression. I was depressed at the time, but no where near what I feel now as an adult. I didn't want to feel weak or be perceived as weak so I wanted to feel a way to cope. How did I cope? With cigarettes. My mother was a smoker for as long as I can remember and probably even before I can remember. When she felt stressed, she smoked. After she ate dinner, she smoked. In the car, she smoked. Relatively, I felt like my mother was someone who was 1) my role model at the time and 2) she had her shit together. As an adult

2018 Resolutions

2017 was a really hard year for me. I learned a lot. I lost a lot. I gained a lot. 2017 was indeed a huge roller-coaster for me and my family. Unfortunately, by the end of 2017, my brain and my heart were both broken. One evening, I sat down and really reflected on my life and what things need to be done to achieve my idea of happiness. This year will be the year that I truly focus on myself, my needs, my family's needs, and create a platform for me to continue this journey/grow on. 2018 will be the year I focus on my happiness, my health, and my wants/desires. I'm 25. I'm not spending my life miserable. I'm taking control. Here's the goals and resolutions for 2018. Some are leftover from 2017, but some are new and different. I'll update you throughout the year as I did with 2017. Happy New Year!  XOXO Dori  B. Goals and Resolutions for 2018 Marathon/Run .  I would like to either run in a marathon or a fun-run type activity. I am not good at running o

December 2017 Television Cancellations & Renewals

2017 has left us, as well as some television shows. Now here's 2018. What's returning (or not returning) in 2018? Keep reading and find out below. Cancellations Haters Back Off (Netflix) Love (Netflix) Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (BBC America)  Graves (Epix) White Famous (Showtime) Renewals Stranger Things (Netflix) - Season 3 Shooter (USA) - Season 3 Berlin Station (Epix) - Season 3 Big Little Lies (HBO) - Season 2 Victoria (PBS) - Season 3 Marvel's The Punisher (Netflix) - Season 2 Mr. Robot (USA) - Season 4 Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO) - Season 10 Frontier (Netflix) - Season 3 Van Helsing (Syfy) - Season 3 Dark (Netflix) - Season 2 There's so many shows that were renewed in December. Only five goodbyes though! I'm not heartbroken over any of these shows that are cancelled. I don't even have any honorable mentions! I'm hoping January has the same feels.  Are you happy about any renewals or upset about any of

The Bachelor Season 22: Preface

This blog is notorious for commenting on The Bachelor (and sometimes the spin-offs, Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise). That is because The Bachelor (and other reality competition style shows) are completely in my "guilty pleasure" folder. It's like a trainwreck you can't look away from. I expect it's near how people who are super into sports feel, especially now that The Bachelor franchise has started doing fantasy leagues. I definitely won last year's fantasy league (not formally announced to the world or a big deal but I definitely picked 3 out of the top 5 and Vanessa as the final rose). I only started watching The Bachelor franchise two years ago. I started with Ben's season, followed up with JoJo's season of the Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise season 3, Nick Viall's season of the Bachelor, skipped Rachel's season of the Bachelorette, and finished up with the most recent and weirdest season of Bachelor in Paradise. It's been a

Final Update: How did those 2017 resolutions go?

Goals and Resolutions for 2017 Marathon/Run .  I would like to either run in a marathon or a fun-run type activity. I am not good at running or walking for that matter, so that is one thing I'd like to do in 2017. Niagara Falls .  The farthest north I have ever been is Connecticut. I would love to travel to Niagara Falls and just feel the mist on my face. Plus, I would love to drive on over to Canada. Maybe I'll do that one next year. Go to the beach .  As a person who lived near the beach for 14 years of their life, I never liked the beach. I went to one in 2015 (the Bahamas) and fell in love with it. I want to go this year with Jude since he has never seen a beach (except in pictures).  Toes in Lake Erie .  I do not know how sanitary or legal it would be. I want to stick my toes in Lake Erie.  A trip to Washington, D.C .  I have not been in a while. I mainly want to sight-see. Monuments and museums all day every day. Cruise .  Not particular on where or how long. I j

A Letter to 2017

Dear 2017, As every year, I would expect this year to be better than the last. That was not necessarily the case. There was so much that happened. I started my blog on January 1st 2017. This blog. This blog has changed from being something that I wanted to seem professional (more like a newspaper, journal, or magazine) to being whatever I felt I wanted it to be. It's made it so much more enjoyable. Jude turned 3 this year. He starts school in August 2018. Isn't that insane? This year has been pretty good for Jude. He's increased his verbal skills, knowledge, and motor skills tremendously. I feel like he's a mini genius, but maybe I'm just biased. He's really done a lot to my stress level and happiness level. Both going two different directions. 2017 was mean to me and I almost felt like I was going to let that bully win, but Jude makes life worth living so here I am. My depression and anxiety returned almost as bad as it did in 2011. In 2011, I really h