Your Loss.

Loss is an inevitable part of growing up. You lose hair. You lose teeth. You lose family members. You lose friends. You lose money. You lose your favorite sock. You lose a lot. When you're born and as you grow up, no one prepares you for loss. No one tells you how to deal with such losses. They just tell you to "get over it" or "move on".

“The effects of loss are acute, and unique to each individual. Not everyone mourns in the same way, but everyone mourns.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Making Wishes
Loss can include a very emotional process. You may feel one emotion or several all at once. Some emotions you may experience include: denial, disbelief, confusion, shock, sadness, anger, humiliation, despair, and guilt. Arguably, these are all common reactions to loss (unless you feel despair over losing your favorite sock, it'll be okay, I'll buy you a new pair if it makes you feel better!).

In some situations, loss can cause you to doubt your mental health or yourself as a person. Losing a family member may cause you to regret not spending more time with that person. It may make you want to change how to engage with other family members or people in your life. Losing a friend may make you feel like you did something wrong or you are a terrible person. Losing hair or teeth (in adulthood, specifically) may make you feel unattractive or ashamed (but you're beautiful no matter what, I promise). These examples of loss are real and they can also cause symptoms of mental health problems to arise. Your depression may be triggered and you may feel worse than normal.

Like I said earlier, loss is an inevitable part of growing up. Some loss you are prepared for, such as death of an ill loved one. Some loss you are not prepared for, such as losing hair. Some losses you're in control of, such as cutting people out of your lives. Loss is complicated. The effects of loss is unique to each person. I never expected the loss of my husband's grandfather to be such a profound loss for me, but it was. It was not really expected, but now I'm sad we didn't spend more time with him.

Loss is inevitable, but loss can be a turning point. Loss can be the moment you say "no more being sad, let's get out and do something different!". Loss can be the point in your life that you realize there needs to be a change. Loss could even be a signal or beacon for change (such as losing your teeth as a child). Mourn the loss. Embrace what comes next. Don't fear loss or you will spend your entire life fearful.


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